Am I being a good mother!
All of us have asked this question to ourselves at least once in our lifetime. For some, believe it or not, it is a very frequent thing on their conscious.This is not a age related question. It is not like when your child comes to a certain age then only this self doubt arise. It could be when your toddler is throwing a tantrum for not getting his favourite toy (the list is long) to when your teenage son shuts the door on your face. This question always creeps in ‘was it my fault for not been able to handle the situation’.
This happens with all of us. To make the matter worse we always have these perfect mothers doing everything without even a single mark on their splendidly manicured hands. And If that is not all we have our dear old idiot box pitching the ‘oh so touching’ advertisement featuring the ever smiling without a single frown, super mom. And here are we (nothing personal please) struggling with the eating habits of our children.
Infact there are actually certain traits defined for a good mother eg. she should never lose her cool with the kids, her kids should be a happy and well behaved one & actually eats veggies (extra point for that). But can there be any set of fix criteria for being a good mother & above all who defined them??My daughter makes a habit of sulking especially whenever I refused to meet her demand (mostly about eating junk). Does that make me a bad mother. Don’t think so.
I think the very first step of being a good mom is to stop comparing yourself to someone else. With kids we are very careful not to compare them with others as every child is different but we often tend to forget that in our own case. Every mother is different and has a different set of responsibilities. Since we all are human we have our respective good and bad day.Sometimes it actually happens when we unintentionally vent our frustration,anger, insecurities etc on our kids. When a simple harmless tantrum could be so nerve wracking for us that we lose it all. Believe me it is fine, it does not make you a monster mummy as it happens with everyone once in a while. What I do in such situation is I do deep breathing to calm myself and I sincerely say sorry to my daughter especially when she is not at fault. We tend to forget that the reason that the kids do such things because they are kids and that is what they are supposed to do. Being active (hyper) ,naughty is just a part of childhood (of growing up).Kids observes a lot and if they see you respecting them then they will reciprocate the same in spite of some occasional mess up.
However there is a huge difference between occasional bursting out and making a pattern out of it. Then it is something that you need to ponder into. Because kids are truly at the mercy of their care takers to look after their physical, mental & emotional needs. Parent especially mothers have a profound effect to influence and mould the personality of their kids.
The best thing you can do it for yourself and your kid is to never get bogged down by others judgement. It is strictly none of their business unless and until they are also contributing in taking care of your kid. Even you think that you made certain mistakes in parenting, let go of it. Let past be past. You still have the present to make the best out of it. Relax & be happy as it directly affect your kids happiness.Spends time with them, listen to each other, make sure to do some activities together. Believe that you are an awesome mother and will do the best for them. Motherhood is not a chore but a privilege..ENJOY IT!!!!!!!